Summer Time and the Living is Easy.

It is (officially) summertime once again and I love it. I've been riding my bike like a fiend and reading books that I want to read. I finished my grad-work for the summer last friday and I finished my first book on Thursday. I read Catcher in the Rye and now I'm on to Catch 22 by Joseph Heller. I've got a goal to read at least 10 books before the summer is over in August. My new summer work schedule is pretty bomb. I go to work at 11:30am and get off anywhere from 7:30-9pm. A summer work schedule like this is hard to beat.

I've really been aching for some creativity lately and have found myself soaking up some writing technics I've discovered through StumbleUpon. I'm going to start writing next week and try to produce a new story each week. So I will be sure to post a few of my works on here. I'm realizing what has always stopped me from completing the task is the fear of making mistakes.

This is a mental road block that must be conquered to truly produce art or you never get anywhere. Last summer I read a short little book by David Bayles and Ted Orland called Art & Fear. And in it they present a parable of sorts of an art teacher who did an experiment with his students by grading half the class on the quality of the work they produce and the other half on the quantity of work they produced throughout the semester. The class soon discovered that those who were required to produced more work were able to produce better quality work. They didn't have the time to be nit-picky so they learned what worked and what didn't overtime and were able to perfect their craft. The students graded on quality focused on one final product and stressed and toiled over that one piece to the point where any life that had been found in their work had been sucked out of it. And now this summer I keep coming across this idea. I found a quote by Ira Glass where he gives advice to artists in the beginning of their creative process:

Summer has been going pretty great so far. I can't complain anyways. I hope to make it up to the mountains before too long and maybe hit up a fourteener or two, but right now its pretty chill. I just started working 40+ hours a week so that will definitely help me get my feet on the ground financially for awhile and maybe I won't be struggling from paycheck to paycheck. I see this time as a new phase in my life. I'm becoming an adult more and more. I will definitely write about this more soon, esp. after I read Tillich's Courage to Be and May's Courage to Create. I'll keep you posted. Until then, I hope you are enjoying your summer too. Let me know what you're up to this summer. I'm interested to know.

Returning from a Brief Hiatus

So it's been awhile since I last wrote, but today felt as good a time as any to return to the blogosphere. To recap, I have finished my first full year of Seminary and got a job at Cherry Hills Country Club as a Pantry Chef (I make salads and plate desserts; a nice gig). Lindsay and I are growing closer as our relationship continues to move forward and to mature (although we have a lot to learn. I still think we are on the right track).

I have recently come to a few milestones that have shaken me up a bit to think about them. May 8th marked one year since I graduated college. It was a tough pill to swallow that I am one year removed from college. I won't say my college years were the best years of my life, but they sure were fun and I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it. The other realization I came to was that on May 20th, I had been out of high school for 5 years. That was just so strange. To imagine how much I have grown in one year is mind boggling and to compare myself with the high school version of me there are some striking differences. I'm essentially the same person, but I have just been shaped by life and personal experience and am less of the overly optimistic person I was in high school. I believe much of the change has been happening over the last year. Its crazy to think about how much has happened in the course of a year. Not only that but I have been a resident of the Denver Metro Area now for over a year. This too is pretty strange. C'est la vie. Life keeps on moving regardless of how hard we try to stay in the same spot. And change is good, but it takes some getting used to. I must admit, growing up is easily the hardest thing I'm learning to do. Part of me never wants to grow up, but at the same time there are so many things I want to accomplish that I have had to come to terms with the fact that I must growing up in order to be successful (and at times, even to survive.)

But undoubtedly I am blessed. Blessed to be growing, to know that life still exists inside of me. Now I have just come to the age in my life where I must come to terms with my being. And to discover what it is that I am being molded and shaped for. I am definitely growing as a person and finding pieces to the puzzle of my being but I must keep on working at it. So until I'll keep you in the loop. When I figure out the meaning for my being, I'll let you know. Until next time.

One of those days...

Do you ever have one of those days where no matter what you just can't seem to get anything done? Today has been that for me and, quite frankly, I hate it. I'm currently sitting in Pajama Baking Co. with John Calvin's Institutes of Religion open beside me and I have read maybe 25 words. I have struggled all day today with being able to get my work done. No matter how hard I try to just sit down and focus I cannot.

There is a lot on my mind so its understandable, but its not excusable. I have SO MUCH homework to do this next few weeks that I really cannot afford to not get things done at this point. I have had two very productive days, but I still have more to get done. If you are reading this please pray that motivation sweeps over me and I become this homework producing machine that can get my work done in no time.

Until this happens, I will probably continue to sip my Americano my girlfriend purchased for me because she is just that wonderful and read a handful of Calvin at a time. I wonder if the time before ours when technology was not at everyones fingertips, if people still struggled to focus like we do. Do you think Mark Twain sat at his typewriter and painstakingly wrote every word of Huckleberry Finn or did the words just flowed out of him like the release of floodgates? Did Calvin sit in Geneva and struggle to get motivated to write his Institutes at the ripe old age of 27? (Granted, I'm not even 23 yet so maybe that gets me off the hook.) Did Søren Kierkegaard sit with Socrates comedies and struggle to find the motivation to read them? What about Shakespeare? Neruda? Flannery O'Connor? I just wonder if in a simpler time if I would still struggle to focus like I do today. Has Facebook and easy access to the internet reshaped my attention span so that I can only focus on things for a small period of time and only when I really really want to? Then again, people get things done all the time. Maybe I'm just experiencing one of those days?

Regardless, I am having trouble getting motivated but I 'spose writing a blog post does really constitute as trying. So I better sign off and get to work. Wish me luck. Apparently, I'm gonna need it.

My Rebirth: 9 Years Ago

It's strange to look back at my journey of faith and realize that it has been 9 years since I prayed with my pastor and my best friend Levi in a stairwell at New Life Wesleyan Church. I am blessed to know that for almost ten years the Lord has guided my path. Its been a wonderfully difficult journey that has brought me through the peaks and valleys of life. What a marvelous thing it is to be in the fold of God?

Today I sit in the library at Denver Seminary. Beside me is Kenneth Grider's A Wesleyan-Holiness Theology open facedown, awaiting my return to writing a paper for Survey in Theological Method. I had to take some time to really dwell on the significance of today. I can tell you that 9 years ago I had no idea I would be sitting where I am now. I would have never guessed the Lord's plan for my life included getting a Seminary Education. I'm still not fully aware of what the Lord has in store for me. But right now, I look back at all He's done for me and I can't help but praise His Holy Name. I still find myself looking back and seeing His work in areas of my life that I had not recognized at the time. There are many milestones in my faith that to write them all out now would take far too long. But for the sake of bringing glory to God I want to at least mention a couple.

My grandma died when I was 9. That was a tough pill for me to swallow, but it was that event that really started to awaken the hunger in my soul something greater than myself. It took many years after this before anything significant happened in moving me closer to faith in God. I went to the National Jamboree for Boy Scouts in 2001. There I took serious the tenant of the Scout Motto that a Scout is...reverent. So, remember my mom had grown up a methodist, I went to the Tent of Religion set up at the Jamboree and spoke with a United Methodist pastor there who gave me a Pocket New Testament. I also attended prayer meeting with a friend during that week. Here God really began to prepare my heart. During this trip to the National Jamboree, we had the privilege to visit the World Trade Center in June of 2001. We went to the top of the building and looked down at the city below. It is a memory that is burned into my mind. So, on Sept. 11th, like most Americans, I was in utter shock when I watched those towers fall. I was in total disbelief that it had happened. I had been in that place. Of course, this sent all kinds of questions into my mind. A month later my friend, Levi, asked me to start going to youth group with him at his church. He told me his parents would be able to bring me home afterwards so I start coming in hope to find some answers to my questions. It was there that I first heard the good news of the resurrected Christ. It was there that I found a community of brothers who would become my best friends, roommates, and mentors. It was there that the Lord welcomed me home as the prodigal son returning.

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I wrote all of that on April 11th. It has now been almost a week since and I have taken the time to thank many of the people who have influenced my faith in a major way. It was a powerful thing to express my gratitude towards mentors, friends and loved ones in how their faith and friendship has impacted my life. Many were very encouraged to hear from me. I want to encourage anyone reading this to take the time out from your busy life to verbally thank the people who have influenced your life. It can be such an encouragement for the both of you.

Musings from the Past

I was going through files in my computer and deleting items that I didn't need anymore and what not, making space for updates and the likes, when I came across this journal entry I made on Jan. 8th, 2009. I apparently was trying to start journaling on my computer but this was the only entry I ever made. I read through it and it really spoke to me where I am at so I wanted to share it with all of you. Maybe it will be as refreshing to you as it was to me today. Blessings.

"January 8, 2009

More and more God is showing me how He wants to reveal himself to us. He longs for us to know Him. His incarnation is the best illustration that He has given us. God wants to fellowship with us. He wants to be apart of our lives. To be more than just a trophy or a keepsake placed on our mantle. God wants to be real in our lives. God wants us to experience life. Jesus came to give us life and life in the fullest (John 10:10). His death and crucifixion were for more than just a way for us to be free of sin. It was a way to free us to be the man or woman that God had originally created in the garden. To be free of what holds us back from achieving what God plans for us. God desires for us to fellowship with Him. The Light. He wants us to see him. He wants us to be His sons. He wants us to be his bride. Thinking about that blows me away. God loves us. And that thought shakes my very world. How can the God of the universe care about me? About the load that is on my back? I often think about crazy things like what it takes to make the cloud that are in the sky look like they are. How at the very moment that I can see them in the shape that they are that the levels of gases have to be a certain mixture in order for that to happen. But why does that matter? What is the point? Then it makes me realize how miniscule my life is. How I’m NOT the center of the universe, but then I think about the fact that God LOVES me. The true center of the universe cares about me. WOW!"

The 5 Stages of Grief: A Jayhawk's Process of Mourning a Loss in the Big Dance

No, I am not an alumni of the University of Kansas. And no, I've never been a resident of the state of Kansas. But I bleed Crimson and Blue. I adhere to the doctrines of Naismith and Allen; and I study the art of Self respect. For it is true what Hampton Stevens recently reported: "To grow up a Jayhawk is to grow up indoctrinated. It's like being raised in a strict fundamentalist church—but the only fundamentals that matter are footwork, hustle, shot selection, and knowing how to guard the pick-and-roll." So to me, Kansas basketball is not only a team, but a way of life. (I can already see my girlfriend rolling her eyes when she reads this but it is what it is.) And when the season comes to a close prematurely, it's like losing a dear friend.

So today as I sit in my house writing this, after what felt like a slap in the face when #11 seed VCU upset the #1 seed Kansas Jayhawks by 10 points, I am processing the loss. I must grieve over a season that I poured my heart and soul into. Surprisingly, only an hour after the upset, I find myself reaching the stage of acceptance on the Kübler-Ross model. Partly because I went through the other four stages during the game itself. First came anger: I was frustrated by KU's inability to play solid defense, the one-sided calling from the referees, and the uncharacteristically poor shooting percentage by the Jayhawks (.355). Then when the second half came around I was in denial when Kansas cut the VCU lead down to 4 points. And when the Rams continued to make their three's I was bargaining: Just let us play our very best and we can win this thing. And as the final minute rolled around I was hit hard with depression. I watched time expire and the weight of our loss left me short of breath. So how is it that only an hour afterwards, I am able to accept such a loss? Easy, I saw it coming.

Now to the Jayhawk faithful, please refrain from defriending me on Facebook, or worse cursing me for betraying the Jayhawks like I'm Roy Williams headed for North Carolina. You can rest assured that I had Kansas winning it all in every bracket I made. I'm only saying, I saw it coming because we did not do as our beloved coach told us over and over again: PLAY DEFENSE. Just the other day Self admitted that our team this year might be the worst team, defensively, he's coached at Kansas. So that, coupled with our arrogance, kept me from denying the reality that we could fall. I was not about ready to let myself be as vulnerable as I was when Kansas played UNI. No one can deny that the lost last year makes our loss in the Elite 8 so much easier to swallow. I LOVE my Jayhawks. Believe me, I missed maybe 4 games all season long. But I couldn't disagree with my coach who's motto has always been "Defense wins Championships." And who can argue with a coach like Bill Self... honestly.

So now, I will look forward to the coming weeks to see if any of our boys decide to enter the draft or stick it out for another year. I will undoubtably miss Tyrel Reed, Mario Little, and (I can't believe I'm admitting this) Uncle Brady. But a new era must dawn where 25 year old Morningstar is no longer wearing a Jersey. And I will no doubt miss the Twins if they go to the draft and anyone else who transfers, gets drafted or what have you. But next year holds new possibilities, new challenges, and new players. So I hang my hat for now and say goodbye the game I love so much (no, I'm not done watching basketball for the season, but from my perspective Kansas IS Basketball, so what's the difference). I anxiously await the arrival of November 15th when Kansas meets Kentucky in the Champions Classic on the first day of the 2011-2012 season... until then, I'll have to find a new obsession.

Admission of my Fear

I'm back in my home town just for a few days. It's been good to be home and be with my parents and to see old friends. I'm sitting in the Starbucks where I've had many reunions with my old buddies. None of them are here now, but being here is a comforting place. (Maybe that's why I decided to blog instead of work on the homework that keeps looming in the back of my mind.)

I just finished lunch with my pastor and I left feeling very encouraged. At the same time, it left me feeling extremely introspective. I'm often overwhelmed by thoughts of my future. I realized yesterday, that I operate much out of fear. I have been greatly struggling with my homework the last two semesters and I think I finally realized the root of the problem. I am afraid of the future. The uncertainty of this life can be a crippling thought. Even more crippling, for me, is the idea that I am called to be a shepherd of God's people. Failure in this mission is an extremely terrifying thought at this point. I realize that my success in this requires complete surrender to God because I cannot truly do the work of God on my own. If I'm trying to do His work on my own accord then I'm going to fall very very short. But if I make mistakes, which I will, my fears are that I could greatly shake someone's faith. It's a very great responsibility.

My pastor pointed out to me today that I have the greatest advocate on my side. God called me to do what it is that I am studying to become. I am not one to speak openly of spiritual warfare (because I don't want to err on the side of being some crazy person), but I feel that my fears have been exacerbated by satanic forces that seek to stop the work of God from being carried out. God has already given his opinion on this by calling me to do his work in a professional setting. I need to trust God more deeply. I trust God in many areas of my life, but I wonder if I'm okay with giving my money to God because I don't have much and I struggle with trusting God with my future. I've had some calvinist friends at school tell me that we Wesleyan-Arminians don't give God credit for His sovereignty. Now, I always disagree with them when they bring this up because a healthy view of free will includes an understanding of God's sovereignty, but I think it is a valid concern that they bring up. And maybe that's what I'm really struggling with right now. Do I believe God is sovereign over my future? If I do, then I can trust Him and let some of my fears go. Maybe this is where I am believing lies of the enemy. This could be a place in my mind where doubts c0me seeping in. So this is where I am today. I am going to turn to Him with my doubt and wrestle with it. I'll keep you posted on how that goes.

Spontaneity--Spice Up Your Life (maybe w./a little Girl Talk?)

So tonight I was able to take part a bit of Spontaneity. And boy howdy did I have fun! (Sorry I had to laugh at that). My friend Jaci called me up today and asked if I wanted to go see Girl Talk...who, by the way, had two shows in Denver that sold out months in advance (the second of those shows were today. So of course, as an eclectic music lover (who may have a serious addiction to the art), my answer was yeah, but how could she ever do that? The show is SOLD OUT!!! What she told me next was pure grace being spoken into my ears... "My friends are in the opening band and they are getting me in free and I can bring friends..."

As you can tell in the picture in the top right corner of your screen, I was one of those friends. I got into a sold out show, FOR FREE!!! And it was off the chain. (I've never said that before but I'm trying it out.) So I'm writing you all out there in the blogosphere to encourage you to spice up your life with Spontaneity. It's the best. I'm going to look back when I'm forty years older,
and remember this night vividly. Sure there were a few pitfalls to the show: I was pushed up against a railing all night as the crowd danced the night away (thus leaving me less space to join. Have no fear, I still danced the night away, just less comfortably.); then their was the white rasta who was in front of me dancing (which meant he was unintentionally grinding on me which I wasn't about to have that. After I had made a bit of space between us he turned to me, realizing that I was singing along like he was, and said "glad to be sharing this moment with you man." Hippies, you either love 'em or hate 'em. I love 'em, but if they start grinding up on me I get a little defensive and change my stance on hippies.); then the fact that the people to my left and to my right were both lighting up jays beside me stinging the nostrils (but what do you except when you live in a place where 100,000 people have medical marijuana prescriptions).

But besides that, I really can't complain. I mean I got into a Girl Talk show for free. It was a blast too. Oh buddy. I also meet a few people along the way. Like my new friend Adam who likes to give hi-fives and was dating a girl who I had met at the Phantogram show. Her name was hard to pronounce thus hard for me to remember (I'm really bad with names.) It was like Charis, or Chizo or something like that. Anyways, then there was Drew and his lady friend, whose name slips my mind. They were nice to talk to. He is a union rep for grocery stores and she's a receptionist for an accounting firm. We shared some laughs and we got to see an epic dj live. It was sick. See I had so much fun...that's why spontaneity is so wonderful.

If you are reading this, and you haven't done anything spontaneous recently then I encourage you to do so. Just earlier last week, I had a moment when spontaneity was knocking at my window of opportunity and I didn't capitalize sending me head first into a sea of regret and disdain for my lack of courage to step out in faith to participate.

Here's a quick run down of what happened: I've been a regular attender at Scum of the Earth Church for several months now. (It's only a few blocks from my home and one of my roomies goes already so why not.) And a friend of mine from Scum is raising money to go to Palestine to promote peace between the Palestinians and the Israelis (cool stuff). So he's having a fundraiser at this ministry house/cafe downtown. Well my roommate Nick and I had two different flyers with conflicting dates and times on them, but we didn't realize it. So we drive across town and find a place to park about a block and a half away. And we start looking for this house. When we get there I had a weird feeling that it looked a little too much like a house than a cafe, but it was the right place. Nick looked in the window and saw some people so he said yeah this has to be it. So I proceeded to waltz right in, but I was not prepared for what I was about to see... The place looked just like a living room with a kitchen area off in the corner. There were probably 6 or 8 college age kids inside whose eyes were huge when they saw us just barge right in. None of the people there were people we knew and my heart immediately skipped a beat. Come to find out it wasn't someone's house, but the correct location on the wrong date. The kids where all students from Wheaton and where here on a mission trip during their spring break. They offered us to stay and eat tacos with them but we declined. For probably an hour after we left, I was a little disappointed that we hadn't stayed and eaten with them. It could have been a fun, but alas, it is just a possibly great story that has been hindered by fear.

So don't be like me and my roommate who regret not acting in spontaneity. Try to do something spontaneous if the opportunity arises. Spice up your life by saying yes when you would normally say no. That's my goal. And when I do, I'll be sure to share with anyone who cares to listen (or read).

An Infrequent Blogger's Tribute to a Blog w/Purpose

Writing a blog is not as simple as so many make it seem. But then again, I'm probably making it harder than it is. So today I thought I'd just try to write something, anything, to get my blog up and off the ground. Last post was really long and winded so I will be brief. I'm trying to break free of my chains to the Infrequent Blogger. I'm inspired by my friends who can blog on a regular basis and enjoy doing so.

As a way of showing my respect to a friend, I'd like to point you all to a blog by a girl I went to high school with. Her name is Megan and she is a Spartan (She goes to Michigan State.) I ran into her back home over Christmas and she told me about this blog she's been keeping. It's her senior writing project and it's really great. She had an idea to have coffee (or tea) with a stranger every week for a year and she would write about her experience along the way. The result is 52 Cups of Coffee. I think it's a brilliant idea. It's really great how it allows for other people's stories to be told. (As opposed to self absorbent blogs entirely about the blogger, i.e. The Life and Times of Nate Rusk). I applaud Megan for her work and for putting herself out there to do something like this. So go check it out and let me know what you think.

Hope to post something again real soon.

Nate's Update--How the Lord's provided for me repeatedly over the last month.

I haven't posted anything in sometime so I just wanted to or I fear that I won't continue to write on here. I'm trying to make this a regular thing so that I can develop my writing. But I haven't really had anything happen to me that is very interesting. So the goal here is to learn how to make the mundane interesting. Ha. I had to laugh at that. Don't worry. If you're reading this I will not stretch the truth or flat out lie to you. Instead this will be an exercise at recognizing the things that have happened in my life that are worth sharing with people. Now that I think about it, now would be a great time to give an update on my money situation.

For those who don't know, I have been broke for the entire month of January and the first week of February. I sent out an email to a few friends to ask that they pray for the Lord to provide for me in this time of instability and that I have the faith that He will do so. And He did, but that's getting ahead of myself. I will say this before I continue: I received my loan refund check for school today so I'm no longer broke. I can now pay for my rent, car insurance, and gym membership without having to skip any meals or whatever. But on Friday, this was not the case.

So when I went home for Christmas, I was sitting in church and felt the Lord putting on my heart to give a bit more money for the offering on Christmas Eve than I had originally planned. I was a little nervous about giving money that I might soon need, but I trusted the Lord and gave it. I also felt in my heart that He would provide for me if and when I didn't have the money I needed and He did. So when my money got real tight I sent an email to a few close friends to pray for my financial situation. In no way was my purpose in doing so to ask them for money. So when my rent came due and I began to worry about paying for it and still being able to eat the Lord provided for me. I received a check in the mail for $200 from a dear friend and my rent each month is $193.75. On top of that, I had friends give me two plus grocery bags of food so I no longer had to worry on either front.

So I was good for a few weeks. Then came time for my car insurance and my gym membership to come due and I had some money in the bank but I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to afford both. On top of that, I was worried about having enough gas to drive to school for my intersession course that next week. So I called my car insurance company and asked if they could give me an extension on the payment date. They were gracious and allowed me a few more days. Again, the Lord provided. I received a check in the mail for a $100 from a couple friends and I was good to make the payments I needed to and I still had food from the two grocery bags of food. I also had friends and roommates who shared food with me without me ever telling them my need for food.

By this time, I was expecting to receive my refund check from the school but it never came. My roommate got his, but I didn't. So I went into to school to see if there was something I had forgotten to do. There wasn't, the school just had not yet received my loan from the government and they were not sure when they would. So again, I found myself running low on cash and somehow (I'm not good at budgeting) I found myself a few dollars in the hole on my bank account. So I borrowed $20 from my roommate and was able to take care of that before I I was charged for overdraft fees. Yet, my gas was getting low and my mom started asking about my money situation. I told her that I had not yet received my check but that I would be okay and that I didn't need any money, but she talked to dad and they decided they would give me $100 to help out. Again, I never asked them for the money and we didn't usually talk about the subject of money so I feel the Lord laid it on their hearts to help me. I was able to get gas and buy a few groceries with this money.

Then our utility bill came due and I was pretty broke. We called the energy company and got an extension. I was hoping that I would soon get a check from the school for my loans. I didn't, but my roommate Nick found $100 in our front yard. He gave it to me and said, "When I found this the first thing I thought was, this belongs to Nate." It was very humbling and awesome to realize how cool my roommates are. We wanted to be sure that the money was not our neighbor's before I deposited it in the bank. I went to over to talk to her, but she was not home so I had to wait for the next day. I went to school and when I came home I went over to talk to her. I was nervous that it might be her's but I knew if it was the Lord would provide for me because I was willing to return it to it's rightful owner. I told my mom about finding it and she told my aunt. They were in agreement that they wished my roommates and I weren't so honest. Ha. So when I talked to my neighbor she told me she hadn't been outside at all the day before so it wasn't her's. She jokingly raised her hand to the sky and said "Maybe it came from up there." She had no idea. So again the Lord provided for me. I went home and wrote a check for the electric bill and still had some money to spare.

I forgot to mention I also was given forty dollars from a friend who just wanted to help after hearing part of this story. So I have been blessed over and over again by faithful friends and loved ones in the past month.

Most recently, I was getting worried about when I'd get my check because with the new month and school in full swing again. I was running into the same problems: little money and rent due, in need of food and gas money. One day I was on campus and I saw a pastor friend of mine who just invited me to lunch. I had come that day not sure what I would do for lunch, but the Lord provided. Then I saw my mentor later that day after he had gone through the mentorship orientation program. He took me to dinner. So I was given two meals in one day. The Lord is good.

I saw the pastor friend of mine again a few days later when I had resolved to go speak with the business office again about my check. They told me I should receive it by the end of the week. He asked me about it and gave me $20 which I reluctantly took from him, but knew full-well that I needed it for gas money. When I got home, I had received a letter from a friend who is two or three years younger than I am with $40 in it. I went and deposited it in my bank account and was humbled yet again by how my friends had listened to the Lord's promptings to help provide for me in my time of need.

I started hanging out with this really wonderful girl who I'm now dating, who took me out to lunch one day, made me three different meals and even took me out to dinner on our first official date. I never told her that I needed food or anything like that but it just happened that way. So the Lord provided me with food through our relationship. And yesterday, I went to the Colorado House Church All-Gather where I was given a free box lunch from chic-fil-a. Then when I got home, my check was waiting for me.

It has been a very humbling month, but the Lord became my Provider. I have learned to be more thankful for the things that I have and relationships that I have made because of the events that have happened. I will one day provide for someone in need out of the abundance I have been given, but for now I can only praise the Lord for those faithful people He used to provide for me. How great is our God who provides for those in need. I want to leave you with a part of the message Jesus gave to the crowds on the Mount. May my story and this scripture be an encouragement to you in your times of need:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own

-Matt. 6.25-34

My Obsession #1: Kansas Jayhawks Basketball

Ask anyone who knows me at all and they will tell you I'm a big Jayhawks fan. I love to watch Kansas Basketball more than most anything. And I've about had it with people asking me why I love KU Basketball since I did not go to the University of Kansas and have never lived in the state of Kansas at all. So I thought I'd take a brief moment to explain myself.

First, I love the history behind the Jayhawks. Their first basketball season was in 1898 led by Head Coach Dr. James Naismith. If you are a basketball aficionado you would know that he was the inventor of the game. The building in the picture above is Allen Fieldhouse, where the magic happens. It is named after the second Head Coach at KU, Dr. Forrest "Phog" Allen. Quick caveat, in 112 seasons of basketball KU has had only 8 head coaches. And no that was not a typo, 8 (count 'em) head coaches. The Fieldhouse is arguably the greatest venues for college basketball in the country. Of course, my bias is that the Fieldhouse IS the greatest arena in college basketball. ESPN Magazine named it the loudest college basketball arena in the country. Take a look at this video and imagine you were sitting in the away team's locker room preparing for the game. All of a sudden you hear the entire arena chanting in unison. Intimidating, right? It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

On top of the history Kansas also has results. They have won 5 national titles. Two of these were Helms Foundation championships in 1922 and 1923 (under the supervision of Coach Allen when Kansas was the dominating force in the game) so they don't count to our total of national title wins because they were given before the instillation of the NCAA National Championship Tournament. So Kansas only have 3 credited to their name but they all sure look pretty hanging in the Fieldhouse.

I took this picture during Late Night in the Phog at the start of last years basketball season. It was glorious. The entire arena was filled from floor to ceilings, all 16,300 seats, with KU fans (more on this later). Blue and Crimson everywhere you looked, but this is the way all home games are. The Fieldhouse has sold out over 150 consecutive games.

Not to mention KU currently the longest-running home game win streak of 69 straight wins. They play Texas in the Fieldhouse on Saturday so I'm a bit nervous. Kansas has not lost at home since 2007 against Texas A&M. This is a big deal for KU fans, let me tell you. For me, this fact is bragging rights and I get so anxious when we play tough teams at home. Kentucky holds the longest home win streak ever and I would LOVE for Kansas to beat it because my hatred for the Kentucky Wildcats runs deep. They stand between us and being the greatest program of all-time statistically speaking. Of course, I will always say KU is the greatest basketball program because, well I love it. I must mention one more fact that I love about Kansas before I get into why the Jayhawks are my team and that is that no other team has won more conference titles than Kansas. They have won at least a share of the title for the last six years in a row and have won 53 conference titles.

Now for why I am a fan. The facts above get my blood pumping but they are in no way the REASON why I love Kansas basketball. Let me explain. My mom's family is all from Kansas. My mom was born in Kansas and my grandpa still lives there. Both are pictured here. My Uncle Thad was the first person to introduce me to KU when I was 8 or so. I remember finding a sticker he had put on the closet of my grandma's house, but my grandpa is where my love for KU was feed (more on that in a minute).

In high school, I was not much of a sports guy. It wasn't until watching March Madness my senior year with my church youth group that I decided I would like to become a more devoted fan. I watched KU occasionally my freshmen year of college, but mostly just to call my Youth Pastor when Kansas beat Oklahoma. I watched more intently the next year and found many friends who were KU fans who collectively inspired me to begin to feed my obsession. I spent that Spring Break at my grandpa's and we watched EVERY game of the tournament that was on while I was there. Whether or not it was Kansas, we still watched it. It's one of my favorite memories of Grandpa Beryl. That was the same year KU won the Championship thanks to Mario's Miracle. I've realized recently that we're kindred spirits. While my entire family was watching football on Thanksgiving this year I went down starts to watch basketball by myself. When Grandpa called from Kansas he was watching the same game I was. I love my grandpa. Speaking of the Championship. Let's took a look at that miracle:

With this shot, Mario tied the game and it went into overtime. The rest is history. We won 75 to 68!!! Rock Chalk. I took the picture below. It's the National Championship Trophy and the Association of Basketball Coaches Trophy. Aren't they beautiful?

I've spend some time in Lawrence and it's wonderful. I could totally live there. My friend Ben and I have been to one game together in the Field house. We went to the University of New Mexico State game against KU in the Fall 2008 when KU annihilated them. It was so much fun begin in the Fieldhouse for a game. Then in 2009 we went to the Fieldhouse for Late Night in the Phog.

These are my friends (from left to right): Darci, Mike, Ben, and Brian before the doors opened. As you can see we were in line early to get great seats. The door to get in was just behind us. The lines for the event stretched around the block. It was crazy. I loved it. My friends are a big reason for my obsession. We text each other before, during, and after games to discuss the greatness of KU. We all love the program and where Bill Self is taking it. We discuss what the team needs to be doing better, which for the #2 team in the nation is way more than I'd like to admit.

Ben stuck around after Late Night and got all but two of the players signatures. I took tons of photos of the event and had them printed and label all of the players in each picture. I sent the program with the signatures and all the pictures to my grandpa and he LOVED it. If you knew my grandpa you would understand how hard it is to really connect with him. So for me that's what Kansas Basketball is. It has brought me closer to the people I love and I will never give that up (no matter how many people struggle with the idea that I'm from Wyoming, went to school in Oklahoma, but love Kansas).

Working Title

The life and times of Nate Rusk implies that my life is worthy of a dedicated readership. The reality is that my life is about as exciting as watching a plant grow. So the title of this blog is a little misleading and if you find that off-putting I am sorry to have wasted your time. Move your cursor to the little x in the corner of your browser and you will be free to go on with your life... I'll wait a minute as you contemplate whether this blog is worth your time. I can already assure you it will not meet your expectations...

Still reading? Well I guess if your really willing to read this the least I could do is give you a brief rundown of what to expect from this blog. You may assume from the title of my blog that my posting will be about me. You're assumption is correct. I will basically use this as an outlet to express my obsessions. Those include, but are not limited to: Kansas Jayhawks Men's Basketball, le Tour de France, indie & hip-hop music (Esp. Kanye West & Jay-Z), NPR, theological musings, and the likes. I will also use this as a place for me to experiment with creative writing, journalism, and story telling. So stay tuned.