One of those days...

Do you ever have one of those days where no matter what you just can't seem to get anything done? Today has been that for me and, quite frankly, I hate it. I'm currently sitting in Pajama Baking Co. with John Calvin's Institutes of Religion open beside me and I have read maybe 25 words. I have struggled all day today with being able to get my work done. No matter how hard I try to just sit down and focus I cannot.

There is a lot on my mind so its understandable, but its not excusable. I have SO MUCH homework to do this next few weeks that I really cannot afford to not get things done at this point. I have had two very productive days, but I still have more to get done. If you are reading this please pray that motivation sweeps over me and I become this homework producing machine that can get my work done in no time.

Until this happens, I will probably continue to sip my Americano my girlfriend purchased for me because she is just that wonderful and read a handful of Calvin at a time. I wonder if the time before ours when technology was not at everyones fingertips, if people still struggled to focus like we do. Do you think Mark Twain sat at his typewriter and painstakingly wrote every word of Huckleberry Finn or did the words just flowed out of him like the release of floodgates? Did Calvin sit in Geneva and struggle to get motivated to write his Institutes at the ripe old age of 27? (Granted, I'm not even 23 yet so maybe that gets me off the hook.) Did Søren Kierkegaard sit with Socrates comedies and struggle to find the motivation to read them? What about Shakespeare? Neruda? Flannery O'Connor? I just wonder if in a simpler time if I would still struggle to focus like I do today. Has Facebook and easy access to the internet reshaped my attention span so that I can only focus on things for a small period of time and only when I really really want to? Then again, people get things done all the time. Maybe I'm just experiencing one of those days?

Regardless, I am having trouble getting motivated but I 'spose writing a blog post does really constitute as trying. So I better sign off and get to work. Wish me luck. Apparently, I'm gonna need it.

My Rebirth: 9 Years Ago

It's strange to look back at my journey of faith and realize that it has been 9 years since I prayed with my pastor and my best friend Levi in a stairwell at New Life Wesleyan Church. I am blessed to know that for almost ten years the Lord has guided my path. Its been a wonderfully difficult journey that has brought me through the peaks and valleys of life. What a marvelous thing it is to be in the fold of God?

Today I sit in the library at Denver Seminary. Beside me is Kenneth Grider's A Wesleyan-Holiness Theology open facedown, awaiting my return to writing a paper for Survey in Theological Method. I had to take some time to really dwell on the significance of today. I can tell you that 9 years ago I had no idea I would be sitting where I am now. I would have never guessed the Lord's plan for my life included getting a Seminary Education. I'm still not fully aware of what the Lord has in store for me. But right now, I look back at all He's done for me and I can't help but praise His Holy Name. I still find myself looking back and seeing His work in areas of my life that I had not recognized at the time. There are many milestones in my faith that to write them all out now would take far too long. But for the sake of bringing glory to God I want to at least mention a couple.

My grandma died when I was 9. That was a tough pill for me to swallow, but it was that event that really started to awaken the hunger in my soul something greater than myself. It took many years after this before anything significant happened in moving me closer to faith in God. I went to the National Jamboree for Boy Scouts in 2001. There I took serious the tenant of the Scout Motto that a Scout is...reverent. So, remember my mom had grown up a methodist, I went to the Tent of Religion set up at the Jamboree and spoke with a United Methodist pastor there who gave me a Pocket New Testament. I also attended prayer meeting with a friend during that week. Here God really began to prepare my heart. During this trip to the National Jamboree, we had the privilege to visit the World Trade Center in June of 2001. We went to the top of the building and looked down at the city below. It is a memory that is burned into my mind. So, on Sept. 11th, like most Americans, I was in utter shock when I watched those towers fall. I was in total disbelief that it had happened. I had been in that place. Of course, this sent all kinds of questions into my mind. A month later my friend, Levi, asked me to start going to youth group with him at his church. He told me his parents would be able to bring me home afterwards so I start coming in hope to find some answers to my questions. It was there that I first heard the good news of the resurrected Christ. It was there that I found a community of brothers who would become my best friends, roommates, and mentors. It was there that the Lord welcomed me home as the prodigal son returning.

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I wrote all of that on April 11th. It has now been almost a week since and I have taken the time to thank many of the people who have influenced my faith in a major way. It was a powerful thing to express my gratitude towards mentors, friends and loved ones in how their faith and friendship has impacted my life. Many were very encouraged to hear from me. I want to encourage anyone reading this to take the time out from your busy life to verbally thank the people who have influenced your life. It can be such an encouragement for the both of you.